i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
