I looked at my own cervix.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
