Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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