You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
