He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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