Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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