Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
