thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
