Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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