I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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