mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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