Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
