She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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