I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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