i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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