So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm just crazy horny about you
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
