just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
