There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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