Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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