So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
