So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
