Well douche your snatch and let's go!
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize