So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
