The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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