I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize