Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
