Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I love you. Go after that dick
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
