My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
