It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
