doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
