It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Damn victory sex feels great
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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