And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
