He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
