he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
