john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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