I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
