I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize