He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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