Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
