"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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