So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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