I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
