dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
