Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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