Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
