Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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