Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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