I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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