I am in a vortex of obligation.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
