yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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