"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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