it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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