I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
