when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
