Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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