So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
