Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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