I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
