Sry I called you an 8
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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