Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
