i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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